The Value in Difficult Conversations

We’ve all had *that* moment. You know the one. The moment where you realize, I’m going to have to address this if I want it to get better, or I want to feel better, or I want us to be okay.

The act of adulting is doing hard things, even when they are uncomfortable. The reality is some things just cannot be solved over text message. (Sorry to burst your bubble, introverts!) As much as we may try to convince ourselves that difficult conversations as useless, the daily and lifelong pursuit of maturing into the people we want to be means we can’t wait around for the tough stuff to go away.

If you’re stuck in the internal conflict between avoidance and facing a difficult conversation head on, consider these insights and tips.

• Hard conversations matter because you do. Embracing a difficult conversation is self-worth in action. When we take a moment to sit down with someone to voice our hurt, our perspective or our needs, we are communicating our own value Taking the easy route of avoidance is at the cost of yourself.
• People are not mind readers. Countless people leave jobs because of conflict or discontent pushed aside. Friendships and relationships end leaving people confused as to what happened. Hard conversations don’t always end in peace or agreement, but what we ignore eventually catches up to us.
• Take your time. Plan, think through and write down what you’d like to say. Rehearse it in the car, in the shower, or with a loved one. There’s also no shame in having some notes to keep your conversation on track. The person or people you’re having the conversation with wont bat an eyelash at your notes. If anything, they’ll see that this is important to you. If you’re worried about being misunderstood or blowing up, take some time to process through the situation with a trusted confidant who can be a neutral sounding board.
• Leave room for seeing things from the other person’s perspective. Hard conversations present the opportunity for you to learn, grow and see things from a side unlike your own.

Relationships can be made stronger through tears and repairs. It may be nerve wracking, but lean in to your self-worth and say what’s on your mind.

Have you ever struggled with the fear of hard conversations? How did you learn to engage in difficult conversations?