Why are you so stuck on “Why?” ?
At one point or another most of us have gotten stuck on asking the question “why?”. It’s natural human instinct to be curious and want to understand the purpose, meaning, intent, origination behind things. We have all experienced (or been) the child that wanted to know “why”. Why is the grass green, or the sky blue etc.
Problems arise when we became stuck on the why, because then we have trouble moving forward. All of us have, at one time or another, fallen into this quick sand. Why did this happen to me? Why did they do this? Why do I have to . . . . ? For teens this is the cause of the age old saying “Because I said so” that so many Mom’s swore they would never say to their child, but invariably do.
Truth is, we just want to understand, right? Why is this happening, why do we need to do this, or why did you do that are all important things that we deeply want to comprehend. The problem is, sometimes we just can’t. Often the answer to “Why” is not ever going to be satisfying. Is there ever going to be a satisfying explanation to why your loved one is suffering from cancer, or your significant other cheated or even why you do or did the things that you (or they) do or did? At times, the truth is there just isn’t.
The difficulty often lies in the fact that we are trying to understand the world through our narrow lens, our own heart, our own morals, values, ethical code, unique experiences and view of the world. Do you know of anyone that exactly shares all of those things? Of course not! What makes this world a truly magical place is our unique differences, and as much as we are all the same, there are intricacies in each of us that make human interactions, decision making and lives different. Would you want it any other way?
So, try as you might, there are some things that you will never understand the “why”, so might it serve you better, at least at times, to accept that? Acceptance is at the core of being able to move forward, if you are stuck in the quicksand of “why” it is impossible to take the next step and get beyond whatever is holding you back. Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting you accept the infidelity, the bad decision making, or the harm that was caused you! But, maybe you will need to understand that you may never fully understand, because you are you and they are them. Whatever, it is (or was) happened and now the more important questions likely are What, How, When etc.
What are you/they going to do about it? How will you/they do it? When? These are the questions that when we get stuck in the quicksand can pull us back out again and begin the journey of moving forward.