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You are here: Home / Children / An Open Letter to Toddler Parents

An Open Letter to Toddler Parents

April 25, 2022 by Carol Ann Isbell, LMFT, LCSW

What. The. Actual. Heck. 

Parenting toddlers is HARD—and anyone that says differently is likely fibbing, and I don’t know about you, but I much prefer being friends with the parents that admit it’s not always fun and games trying to raise tiny humans.  Yes, of course, it’s also meaningful and can be the most incredible thing in the entire universe to many of us, but it is certainly a “both things are true” kind of situation. If you’re having one of those more challenging moments (or days/weeks/months—there’s no judgement here) this letter is for you.

Dear Magnificent, Wonderful, Amazing, Hardworking Toddler Parent,

I see you.  I see how hard you’re trying.  I see you trying to juggle one billion things all at once yet somehow still feeling as though you aren’t doing enough.  I see you navigating the seemingly psychotic state of your toddler who sometimes screams bloody murder when you give him/her EXACTLY WHAT THEY ASKED FOR.  Are you wondering why you feel like you’re losing your mind? It’s because it’s crazy making.  It’s because it makes zero sense yet here you are, with a plate full of cold spaghetti because although they wanted to help cook the noodles, they wanted to eat them cold and being the rockstar parent that you are, you wanted to empower them to make choices when possible so you stuck them in the freezer for a couple minutes only to learn they suddenly “HATE skeddi—ESPECIALLY when it’s cold!” Obviously, it’s absolute MADNESS you would even think about suggesting such foolishness!  And here’s the thing friend—sometimes you remember that it doesn’t make much sense to be offended by someone who legitimately believes you won’t be able to find them when they are only covering their eyes with their hands while sitting out in the open during a riveting game of “hide and seek,” and thus, you are perfectly calm in response to this craziness.  Yet other times, you get sucked into that funny farm faster than your toddler can say “yes…no…YES…NOPE!”—and that’s okay! I need you to remember that you are warrior, and even warriors get tired.  I could totally ramble on about how important it is to not be perfect in front of your kids and about all the valuable lessons you’re teaching them by practicing emotional regulation in front of them but let’s be honest—you don’t have time for that!  I have MAYBE 2-3 more sentences before someone needs something from you, or before you need to save a tiny person that appears to have very little regard for their own life, so I’ll just skip right to the conclusion: You. Are. Nailing. It.  And on the day’s when you question that statement, you’re probably doing a lot better than you realize so please give yourself some grace…and a break.  You definitely deserve both…because parenting toddlers is hard.

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Filed Under: Children, Family, mental health, Parenting, Self-Care, therapy, Toddlers Tagged With: parenting, toddlers

Author Profile


Carol Ann Hamilton Isbell
LMFT, LCSW [she/her]
A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and one of the founders of Northstar Counseling Center who specializes in:

EMDR, Relationships, Anxiety, Perfectionism
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