Entering into our third year of a global pandemic, feeling the post-holiday blues and possibly symptoms of seasonal depression, managing stressors of work, childcare, ongoing social distance and covid precautions, I don’t know about you, but to me this cumulative stress is just about enough to leave anyone feeling frazzled, worn out and on edge. As we have navigated these difficult years together, there have been ups and downs, times when it feels like we can catch our breath and times when we have to take it one minute at a time. Recently, I have been feeling in my own body and have heard it reflected by others, that these physical responses to stress have become more intense in the last 2-3 months. Feelings of chest tightness, sore muscles, feeling shaky, jittery, tired and tense. These are cues from our nervous system that we need to be on alert, or in the case of an ongoing stressor like covid-19, that we have been on alert for so long that our signals may be on overdrive, passing their limit and causing us to feel exhausted and burned out.
While I cannot change the stressors and signals causing some of these haywire nervous system feelings, I can encourage some changes in how we care for our nervous systems that may help nurture this important part of our bodies through these difficult and long term stressors. The mantra that has been coming to mind lately, when I reflect on my own, overstimulated signals, is to nourish my nervous system. The goal here being to find replenishment and nourishment in new and intentional ways in order to help us navigate the months ahead (or even the next hour if that is how you are taking things right now) in a less anxious or depleted state of being.
Every body is different, so it may take some exploration to find a set of calming strategies that work to refill your cup and nourish your nervous system in the best way for you. Here are a few ideas as you get started, and you may notice that many are very small and simple. Thankfully, you don’t need to carve out an entire day for self-care or even several hours throughout the week for these calming resets to be effective. You may notice a positive impact with a few intentional minutes and a mindset shift toward caring for this system that is working so hard to keep you safe.
- Quiet. Finding quiet may sound easier said than done in our busy, multi-tasking schedules but the impact of even 60 seconds of silence can be a refresh button for our brains and bodies. Turn off screens, silence notifications, close your eyes and tune in to the change in stimulation. Picture it as if your mind is catching its breath for a moment, allowing yourself to be present without distraction for 1,3 or 5 minutes depending on what can work for your schedule and circumstances. We exist in an overstimulated environment most of the time, so finding these little recharge moments can help us quiet our nervous system and feel more connected to ourselves. You may also find that you enjoy this quiet break and can look for other ways to reduce noise and stimulation in your environment including using the “Do Not Disturb” feature on your devices for set times at home, minimizing volume on TV, tablet or music, shifting habits of background noise or always having something on while home, taking a walk without headphones, or any other ways that you may find you are always experiencing sound and work to increase quiet.
– - Breathe. While we breathe all day in order to provide our body with oxygen, it can be a part of our stress response to have mostly shallow and short breaths that keep us oxygenated but may not be nourishing our nervous system in a way that lets our body know that we are safe and secure. Finding a moment to focus on taking a few slow, deep breaths can be a way to increase oxygen, feel it enter and move through your body and slow down. This deep breathing also is a direct way to communicate to your body and brain that you are safe and you do not need to be on high alert. If you are in an emergency or dangerous situation, you would not be able to take this slow, deep breath and so this action can tell your brain “we are safe, we are okay” which can then alert your nervous system that there is not an immediate threat. Try it now as you are reading this. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose counting to 4 as you inhale. Hold that breath for 4 and focus on the expansion in your chest. Then release to the count of 4 and feel the air leave your body., Do that 2-3 more times and see what you notice. In for 4, hold, out for 4. You are safe. You are okay.
– - Sense. Similar to breathing, our senses are always active and sensing the world around us but they can also easily shift into autopilot leaving us to take in a lot of information while not actually processing it or noticing what is happening in and around us. One way to add simple steps of refresh into your self-care routine could be to intentionally slow down and tune in to your five senses. This can look different to what works best for you, for example you could use this awareness to practice mindfulness in an everyday moment. You can focus on being present right where you are, noticing what you can hear, feel, smell, etc and follow your thoughts to what you notice about each of these sensations. Step outside and feel the sunshine or cool air on your face, slowly sip a cup of hot tea, take in the smell and feel the warmth in your hands, stretch up to the ceiling and feel the way that your muscles stretch and move. Whatever you choose to do whether that be mindfulness, meditation or simply hitting pause in a busy moment to check in with each of your senses, grounding in this way can be a practice in tuning in to what is happening inside of you and around you. Reconnecting with the sensory input you are already receiving can be a way to regulate and reset your frantic feeling nervous system in this mindful, grounding habit.
– - Routines. We are creatures of habit and we can find comfort in knowing what to expect through creating rhythms and routines for our day. This can be helpful for kids to know what to expect, but is also important as adults to be able to have some patterns created around calming, grounding and preparing for the next step, whatever that step may be. As with all of these ideas, this doesn’t have to be an all day change for your schedule or even anything outside of what you are already doing but rather an intentional mindset shift to see patterns in your day, or to highlight areas where an extra routine for calm could be beneficial. Examples of this can include a morning routine of deep breathing or stretching to help prepare your body and mind for the day ahead, a positive self talk routine as you begin a stressful task, a routine for connection and engagement with family as you come home or share a meal or a nighttime routine to quiet your mind and relax your senses before going to sleep. Small, simple steps done in the same way each day can create patterns in our mind that help us know what to expect which increases feelings of safety and security. These steps can also prime our nervous system to relax and recharge in order to take on the next task in a calmer state of being.
– - Basics. Sometimes when we are feeling overwhelmed and pressed for time, we can forget some of our most basic needs and the impact they may have on our capacity to handle the stressful parts of our day. Take a moment and ask yourself, “have I had a drink of water recently”, “when did I last eat?”, “am I tired?”. It can be difficult to nourish our nervous system if our basic needs are not met and we find ourselves hungry, thirsty, tired, in need of a bathroom break, you name it, it gets in the way and can be a quiet depleater of your nervous system’s stability. Meeting these needs can also be helpful ways to reset even if you are not finding yourself starving or exhausted. Taking a break to slowly drink a cold glass of water, enjoy a hot cup of tea, eat a snack and savor each bite, these can all be ways to tune in to your senses and notify your nervous system that you are safe and the high alert can be turned down.
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As with any change, it is okay to start small, start over often and give yourself a lot of grace. There is so much being asked of you at any given moment and the frazzled feelings inside of your body are evidence of that. Listen to your body. Hear what your nervous system is trying to say and be intentional to nourish it with messages that you can be calm, you are safe, you are taking care of your needs and that you are not in danger. These can be useful tools for adults, but also for kids who may be feeling burnout in their nervous systems and may have even fewer tools built up for dealing with these feelings. If you find yourself asking “what is up with my kid right now?”, maybe that is a sign that their nervous system is feeling frazzled too and you can work to incorporate some of these calming tips in your family routine. If you have seen the movie Big Hero 6, think about the body scan feature that Baymax uses and check in with yourself in the same way. What is your body scan telling you? This visual can help us notice what is happening in our body, return to listening to our needs and working to nourish and nurture our overworked nervous system. Take a breath. We can do this. One calming minute at a time.