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You are here: Home / Couples / Reigniting The Flame

Reigniting The Flame

March 25, 2024 by Carsyn Kidwell

Love is like a bonfire– it must be cared for because if it isn’t, it will burn out over time. Although keeping a bonfire active seems so easy to do, it can gradually start to fade away if not given enough time and attention. Like a bonfire, we as humans must care for our relationship/marriage and if we start giving less attention to those relationships, we must know the ways in which we are able to reignite that fire.

Rediscovering Love

One way a couple can reignite the fire in their relationship is by discovering how the fire was sparked initially. A couple can sit down and take a walk down memory lane, noticing the similarities and differences of their relationship both then and now. By doing this, a couple can rediscover their initial feelings that drew them to their partner in the first place. Maybe it was a certain action their partner did, or a specific tradition that has fallen off over time that they want to start up again.

Listening with an Open Heart

There is no better feeling than feeling heard by your partner. Studies have shown that feeling heard by your spouse/partner leads to security and safety, both emotionally and physically. It is so important that when your partner is sharing something, as little as it might seem, that we open our ears and heart to them so that they feel valid and understood. 

Share Goals and Aspirations

In a long marriage or relationship, time passes and we change! Change is scary, but can be so good for relationships. Change in our partner allows us to fall in love with them over, and over, and over again! With change, we must act delicately and continue to learn about our partners newest goals and aspirations. A spouse’s aspirations in life from 10 years ago may look much different than they do today – which brings me to my next way of reigniting the fire!

Learn Something New – EVERY DAY

Another way to reignite the fire between you and your partner is by taking the time to learn something new about them each and every day. Maybe this is by asking about their favorite part of their job, or the most rewarding part of the past week. Since the world around us is constantly changing, something that is a constant is getting to know your partner each and every day through and through! A way many couples do this is by asking their partner about a rose and a thorn from each day (a rose being a beautiful part of their day and a thorn being a not-so-beautiful part).

Seek Professional Help

There is no shame in asking for help when it is needed. If you and your partner are struggling with reigniting the flame in the relationship, please reach out to a therapist and seek guidance toward creating a stronger fire than before. 

HAVE FUN!

Relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies, but having fun with your partner is so crucial! Go on a walk, pick up a new hobby like pickle ball, have little date nights, play a card game, or cook your favorite meal together. These are just a few ways to let loose with your partner and create new moments and memories. 

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Filed Under: Couples, Relationships, Uncategorized

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Carsyn Mattingly
MFT Associate* [she/her]

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