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You are here: Home / Uncategorized / Sitting in the mud…

Sitting in the mud…

March 21, 2022 by April Smith English

Today is the first full day of Spring and if you’re like me, you’re looking forward to long stretches of sunny weather and the scent of growing grass and spring flowers in the air. However, this past rainy Saturday gave me pause about appreciating the not so nice weather. I gave myself permission to rest, realizing that this dreary day would not last forever, so I chose to take full advantage of the benefits of doing nothing. It made me think about how every season has a purpose and since they don’t last forever the importance of allowing them to do what they do best. For instance, winter allows the earth to rest, and the seemingly inactive period allows for the beautiful growth of the spring and summer. Without this rest and seemingly unpleasant time, growth does not happen.

A lot of people do not like uncomfortable feelings and attempt to avoid or rush through them to get to more pleasant feelings. I completely understand this drive, as I have attempted this myself before. However, as I lay on the couch watching tv and that uncomfortable feeling of not feeling productive came along, I allowed it to come. I heard the negative self-talk and the attempt to shame at not living up to society’s narrative that my worth is dependent upon productivity. I allowed it the space to be heard and then continued to allow it to pass on by as I shifted my attention to appreciating the present moment, along with the peace and rest I deserved as a human in this world. By allowing these negative emotions their “season” I decreased their power and moved on from them more quickly than if I had jumped up off the couch to do something or stuffed them down with defiance. Acknowledging your feelings allows them to pass more quickly and gives you the opportunity to choose how you react to them.

Rushing the process of experiencing uncomfortable and even painful feelings prevents your fully processing it and taking what you need to learn from it. Feelings have a funny way of coming back around if they have not been given the space to be felt. Acknowledging them is essential to letting them go.

Sitting in uncomfortable feelings is difficult, AND we get to choose how we respond to them, just like how you choose to see a spring flower. Do you give it a passing glance and hurry on to a task that seems more “worthy”, or do you stop and notice it in its entirety, accepting it for everything it has to offer knowing that its existence is temporary? It may be just a moment in time, but the experience of being fully present to it can be a beautiful reminder of the resilience that comes with allowing the winter the time to do its work and beauty that comes with sitting in the mud.

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April Smith English
MFT Associate* [she/her]

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