I spend a decent amount of time in therapy sessions trying to help people quiet intrusive, anxious thoughts. “What if I fail?” “What if I never ________? “What if my kid ________?” You get the idea…. Most of us know all too well of the potentially negative spiral of a “what if” question. However, what if I told you that you can actually use this sometimes pesky little sentence structure to strike therapy gold?!
For context, there have been many studies regarding the impact of asking questions and it’s pretty interesting to consider the implications of the findings. For example, one study found that merely just inquiring about someone’s intentions of buying a new car in the next six months increased purchase rates by 35%! Another study found that asking if someone if they intended to vote in the next election increased the likelihood that they would vote by 25%!
In many ways asking a question can hijack your brain. It can open the door to creating new neural pathways which can make way for new ways of thinking and thus, lead to new emotional and behavioral experiences. So how can you this phenomenon to your benefit? Start asking yourself better questions. Instead of giving into the negative version of a “what if” question, ask yourself to consider more positive possibilities:
What if I am worthy of love?
What if I am enough just as I am?
What if I didn’t have to be in control all the time in order for things to work out?
What if I didn’t always say “yes?”
What if I started setting boundaries?
Questions like these open our minds to possibilities. They create opportunity to, at a minimum, at least consider new outcomes/ways of being. What if you gave yourself this opportunity a few times a week? 😊