Although we have been having an unusually warm October, Daylight Saving Time is looming and it is time to think ahead to caring for our mental health through those darker, colder months. This seasonal shift and the impact on our mood can be especially difficult for kids who may not be able to recognize or articulate why they are feeling in a funk. Shifting from those playful, sunny days to shorter, colder, darker ones can be difficult, especially without tools prepared to tackle this seasonal change.
Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in children can look similar to other forms of depression including changes in eating and sleeping patterns, less energy, less interest in previously enjoyable activities, social isolation and feelings including but not limited to sadness, disappointment and frustration. Adding to this stress for your child may be the ongoing Covid-19 Pandemic and differences in school, activities and friends that this change has brought as well. We often talk about how kids are resilient, and while that is true, it can sometimes be the case that our kids simply don’t put into words so directly that they are hurting. It can be helpful, then, to prepare as if this transition may be difficult and if it is not needed you have a toolbox ready for another time. Having these ideas already ready to go means that if it is needed, you won’t have to figure out next steps in the middle of the hard months. You will already have a few options in your toolbox ready to go!
With that in mind, here are a few, simple steps that you can be thinking of today to help prepare you and your family for the colder months of fall and winter:
- Give Your Routines a Check-Up: If you don’t already have a morning wake-up and evening wind-down routine, now is an excellent time to create one for you and your kids. Knowing what to expect by creating rhythms and reassuring patterns in our days can be a way to feel in control even when a lot is not in our immediate control. These routines don’t have to be long or intricate. They can be just a few, intentional steps to help start and end your day. For example, explore with your kids what helps give them energy in the morning. Do they feel better by doing a few jumping jacks before breakfast to get their bodies moving? Maybe you find together some make ahead breakfast recipes that are easy to warm up on the go in place of cold cereal. If your child usually wakes easily with the sunlight and is slower to wake in the winter, being intentional to set out clothes the night before and pre-pack lunches may be a step toward a smoother morning. Using gentle lighting and seasonal/UV lamps to help wake as well can help mimic some of those summer benefits. Similarly, nighttime routines may need to look different as the seasons change. If in the heat of summer your kids spent so many hours outside that they crash to bed and fall asleep easily in the summer. What are some ways to manage that excess energy in the winter? Think about how bedtime stretches or yoga, a warm shower or bath, reading, spending time away from screens may impact your child’s rhythm. All of these are options to add as they work for your family.
- Plan Some Indoor Fun: Thinking ahead about hobbies you want to explore, crafts to create, and other fun, indoor activities can be a way to already have some boredom busters ready in those gray days of Fall and Winter. It is easier to think of fun things to do now and have the anticipation of looking forward to them than to not have a plan and be trying to think of fun things to do when the boredom or depression monster is already sitting in your living room. Putting together the kits for a craft project or finding items for your hobby can be a part of feeling prepared and ready for this seasonal shift.
- Get Outside: Now this may seem counterintuitive when you just spent time with your family creating plans for fun, indoor activities but another way to battle seasonal depression is to continue getting outside, spending time in nature and getting that fresh air and vitamin D. Alfred Wainwright is quoted as saying “there is no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing,” so when possible, bundle up and go exploring! Maybe this is a walk in your neighborhood, or a hike at a local park. Can you do a scavenger hunt in your yard or drop off baked goods to a neighbor? Even just stepping out of your front door and taking 5 slow, deep breaths of fresh air can feel rejuvenating when you have been cooped up in the house all day!
- Nourish Yourself: This step can look very different for different people but it brings to mind the Danish concept of Hygge that is a focus and embrace of comfort during their dark months of the year. They eat warm soups and use bigger blankets. They bake breads and use warmer lighting. In this time, you may find cooking comfort foods with your family can be one of your shared indoor activities, finding time to be together while also nourishing yourselves in a cozy way. This can also look like reading a good book, taking a bubble bath, remembering your vitamins, being intentional to exercise, or scheduling a time to meet with a friend. Nourishment can be whatever you need to feel cared for and encouraging this in your children is a way to build self-care into their routine while also practicing self-care and self-nourishment!
- Feel Your Feelings: All feelings are okay and valid. Allowing your feelings and your children’s feelings to exist, remembering that they are temporary and will pass is a way to validate and educate our kids about their emotions. Think through ways you may be able to incorporate identifying and processing feelings as part of your nighttime routine such as journaling or the practice of naming a feeling or two from the day at a meal. Another idea is to have “office hours” or open couch time when you are available for your kids to come snuggle, sit, talk, play, or do whatever they need and you will be present with them in this time. It can even just be 15-30 min as it is the ability to connect that is helpful, not always the length of time. That focused time to listen, reflect, play and be present can be helpful in kids learning how to share their feelings and feel validated in their experiences. It can be important to remember for yourself, and to model for your kids that seasonal depression can feel negative for those experiencing it, but no feeling is bad or good. All are valid, accepted and are a real part of being human.
These steps are some ideas to get you started, but are definitely not a comprehensive list of options to help fight those winter blues. Talk with your kids, think about what helps you feel better when you are feeling down and ways to bring sunshine into those darker months. Having a plan ahead of time helps empower us to know that we can take on anything that comes our way, which is another good lesson to model for your kids as we enter this time of change.