Self-Sabotage and Negative core beliefs.

Self-sabotage: when you get in your own way; interfere with achieving your own success or desires.
For example: Wishing for deeper relationships with others while not allowing yourself to build those relationships.

Core belief: a person’s most fundamental idea about themselves, others, and the world. These beliefs act like a lens through which situations and life experiences are understood.
For example: “I am unlovable. People cannot be trusted. Nothing ever goes right.”

Core beliefs are carried within most (if not every) experiences in one’s life. Self-sabotage may appear in romantic relationships, school, career opportunities, family relationships, work settings, etc. Self-sabotage is often subconscious; however, it may come up deliberately.

Where does Self-sabotage come from?

Self-sabotage may come from a negative core belief standing in your way. Perhaps this inner belief is convincing yourself that you do not deserve to achieve what you want, receive love, get your needs met, etc.
For example: Let’s say your core belief is “People cannot be trusted.” And let’s say your desire in life is to have a long-term romantic partner. You may get in your way to achieving this goal through your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors.

A person’s negative core belief shows up like an inner- critic stepping in your way. This may come from past disappointments, shortcomings, patterns, or problematic relationships. Your brain may be clinging to the negative experiences standing in your own way, noticing negative patterns, not the ones that challenge that core belief.
For example: You were cheated on; therefore, don’t feel like you can trust others, AND you have a long-term friend who has consistently supports you.

What do we do with this?

Challenging that negative core belief telling you something harsh, untrue, or unfair! You challenge yourself by finding examples of your value and successes.

Do not forget that many people self-sabotage, and you can stand up to that inner critique and damaging belief that stops you from getting what you want! Old patterns or experiences do not forecast with 100% accuracy what will happen.

Want to try challenging your inner beliefs that may be standing in your way? Try beginning with a therapist!